A minute with Tom Paradise

What's the most urgent problem facing our nation?Tom Paradise ('08)No way man! Original Star Trek is waaaaaay better than TNG. For all you laypeople, that stands for The Next Generation. Garbage, I say.Tom Paradise ('08)The most urgent problem with this country is the unjust illegality of quality saltine crackers.

Look, the U.S. government doesn't want you to know this, but the best saltines - the really potent stuff - are 100 percent legal in Amsterdam.Tom Paradise ('08)Oh! Probably crabs. Huh? The most urgent problem with our nation? Oh, I thought you said, "What's your favorite crustacean?" I guess I wouldn't change my answer at all.

Tom Paradise ('08)I'd probably say that there aren't enough monster truck rallies.Tom Paradise ('08)I think the greatest problem facing our nation is the professional baseball steroids scandal. Those players should be ashamed of themselves, taking the easy road to big muscles and powerful hitting.

They ought to improve their game the old fashioned way - with corn dogs.Tom Paradise ('08)America's biggest problem? Michael McDonald.*Special Note from Tom:I tried to reach Larson's famed Gertrude for comment. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get in contact with her, but I'm sure she would lament the lack of adequate health care for the undead. They have feelings, too.--Tom Paradise





 

 

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